"Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"

"Yes we arson."

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

An envelope.

A man walks into a bar.

He says, "Ouch!"

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

The letter E.

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory.

What do you call the Christmas film industry?

Jollywood.

I've got a Rush song stuck in my head. This time, I don't get to choose Freewill.

How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

I poured root beer into a square glass.

Now I just have beer.

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

What do you call a poorly planned and poorly executed website?

MasonMacKinnon.Com.

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his orders.