Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

I've got a Rush song stuck in my head. This time, I don't get to choose Freewill.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

The letter E.

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his orders.

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

"Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"

"Yes we arson."

I poured root beer into a square glass.

Now I just have beer.

What do you call a poorly planned and poorly executed website?

MasonMacKinnon.Com.

What do you call the Christmas film industry?

Jollywood.

A man walks into a bar.

He says, "Ouch!"

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

An envelope.

How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory.