Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his orders.

I poured root beer into a square glass.

Now I just have beer.

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory.

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through that thing?"

What do you call the Christmas film industry?

Jollywood.

"Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"

"Yes we arson."

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

The letter E.

What do you call a poorly planned and poorly executed website?

MasonMacKinnon.Com.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

An envelope.

A man walks into a bar.

He says, "Ouch!"