How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

What do you call the Christmas film industry?

Jollywood.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

An envelope.

I poured root beer into a square glass.

Now I just have beer.

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory.

A man walks into a bar.

He says, "Ouch!"

What do you call a poorly planned and poorly executed website?

MasonMacKinnon.Com.

"Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"

"Yes we arson."

I've got a Rush song stuck in my head. This time, I don't get to choose Freewill.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

The letter E.

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his orders.