"Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"

"Yes we arson."

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

I poured root beer into a square glass.

Now I just have beer.

What do you call a poorly planned and poorly executed website?

MasonMacKinnon.Com.

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his orders.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

An envelope.

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

What do you call the Christmas film industry?

Jollywood.

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory.

I've got a Rush song stuck in my head. This time, I don't get to choose Freewill.

A man walks into a bar.

He says, "Ouch!"

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

The letter E.