Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

I've got a Rush song stuck in my head. This time, I don't get to choose Freewill.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

The letter E.

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory.

How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

An envelope.

What do you call the Christmas film industry?

Jollywood.

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his orders.

What do you call a poorly planned and poorly executed website?

MasonMacKinnon.Com.

I poured root beer into a square glass.

Now I just have beer.

A man walks into a bar.

He says, "Ouch!"

"Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"

"Yes we arson."