I poured root beer into a square glass.

Now I just have beer.

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

What do you call a poorly planned and poorly executed website?

MasonMacKinnon.Com.

"Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"

"Yes we arson."

What do you call the Christmas film industry?

Jollywood.

How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through that thing?"

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

An envelope.

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

The letter E.

A man walks into a bar.

He says, "Ouch!"

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his orders.

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.