I poured root beer into a square glass.

Now I just have beer.

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory.

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

An envelope.

How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

"Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"

"Yes we arson."

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

The letter E.

What do you call a poorly planned and poorly executed website?

MasonMacKinnon.Com.

What do you call the Christmas film industry?

Jollywood.

A man walks into a bar.

He says, "Ouch!"

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through that thing?"

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his orders.

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.