Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

What do you call a poorly planned and poorly executed website?

MasonMacKinnon.Com.

I've got a Rush song stuck in my head. This time, I don't get to choose Freewill.

A man walks into a bar.

He says, "Ouch!"

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

The letter E.

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory.

"Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"

"Yes we arson."

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

An envelope.

How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

I poured root beer into a square glass.

Now I just have beer.

What do you call the Christmas film industry?

Jollywood.

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his orders.