Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his orders.

How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

I poured root beer into a square glass.

Now I just have beer.

What do you call a poorly planned and poorly executed website?

MasonMacKinnon.Com.

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory.

A man walks into a bar.

He says, "Ouch!"

What do you call the Christmas film industry?

Jollywood.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

The letter E.

"Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"

"Yes we arson."

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through that thing?"

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?

An envelope.

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.